I figured out what it is.......I understand it in small part now....

I need the most internet, so I can have all the porn

I have to wonder where the feeling and desire goes after a short lived orgasm? Like why does such an awesome experience fade away only moments after having one? I would have thought something like the orgasm should last a whole lot longer especially for all the working out of the body that sex does. Can anyone explain to me why the orgasm doesn't last longer then it does when we have one?
Perhaps we have not yet developed to such an extent that we could maintain and orgasmic state....that would be desirable for most I believe.

Right about now I'm thinking that maybe I DON'T want to be a porn star, but maybe I just want one really beautiful girlfriend to live a awesome sex life with? But then you run the risk of cheating if the relationship fails....Which reminds me that if you like sex, and orgasms then maybe its best to become a real porn star and make a career out of it....
Hmm...see there it goes again....whatever it was a moment ago that was out of the idea...I just found my way back into the idea....i can feel it...like in my heart i can feel it there, it restarted again........I realize the desire to become a professional pornstar is at the fore of my pursuit. Whatever view i was just looking at it from left...i could feel it leave, and now im back on track with my dreams and goals again. I believe in it again. I hope for it again against all odds....
If it is this way with things....then I must learn how to keep it when i have it...whatever it is, because it is not worth being a life long dream of mine if i cant maintain the joy and pursuit of happiness....If i lose desire after jacking off, or watching a few videos then how do i plan on becoming a major motion picture pornstar?
And there it is again...the idea that if i had "Pornstar super powers" I could enjoy it so much more and find the happyness I always...wanted. It's strange...I just want it...Like I just know but can't explain it to myself for some reason...